Much much

My life now is very confusing, i say. -.-

I don't know what's the whole point in my lovelife now. Will i let him go or not? Puff. This bothers me much! I talked to him last Saturday, and it turned out to be like, i'm saying that i still have hope for the both of us, and it's, ohmy. I don't know what i was saying to him that time. All i remembered was, i said YES. And his question was, "What if i was courting you now, will you give me a chance or not?" and that's what i said - YES. I said it, maybe because, i still love him, and i still WANT him. I mean, NEED. :) I don't know if i did the right thing, but i was just saying the truth. Oh, but still, i'm bothered about some things around. -.- I just can't forget what he said "Yes, I love you. But we need to set LIMITATIONS." and at that point, he's correct. We're both committed to our own organizations which is really needed to put some big attention. In reality, i'm willing to wait for him. Yes, i'll do anything for him. Even the impossible, it's because I love him. And that connects to a line in one of my favorite songs - Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis. Here it goes: "I don't care what they say, i'm in love with you. They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth". HAHA. Funny, it's not. Hay. And that's it.

In the other way around, there's this one guy - Roland. -.-
He's my crush. Yeah, he is. I like him, i mean there's something in him that i really like. And maybe i already figured it out, it's his PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. He's handsome. That's the main reason, big time. I like the way he smile. Cute. But i think i'm not really attracted to him emotionally. Last summer time, i was hoping that he would like me too. And now, it's coming true. It's like, i don't know what to do with it. I don't wanna hurt anyone. Really. But i guess, this time, i will face my weakness, "To open up with someone. And talk to him/her frankly." Tomorrow is the day. I'll tell him that i'm still not ready to enter into a relationship. Since, i still don't have something for him. I don't want to have a FLING type relationship. And i don't think i'll fall for him. Oh, i don't know. I don't know what will happen next. -.-

But i think, it's better if i'll rest my heart first and start to recover some things. Though, i guess, if i'll keep on seeing him (Peggy), he will always be the one. -.- I think i'm too martyr. Oh, i just can't help it.

Things will go well, i know. :)